Do you show up for others before you show up for YOU? In this inspiring episode, you’ll hear from Nikia Phoenix on why self-care is essential to rocking it.
Nikia is a courageous, multitalented creative known for celebrating self-love as a meditation guide, model, and creator of the Black Girl Beautiful initiative. If you follow her on Instagram, subscribe to her emails, or enjoy her guided meditations, you know that the energy she puts into the world is truly a breath of fresh air.
Tune in as Nikia reveals the reasons she came to embrace self-care, why she’s empowered by the rockstar women in her family, and how you can learn to put yourself first.
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In this episode, you’ll hear:
- [02:20] How Nikia discovered the importance of self-care while struggling with depression
- [07:59] How Nikia finds balance as a social media personality
- [09:57] Why it’s important for women to tap into the sacral chakra
- [12:45] The Black Girl Beautiful mural and movement, and how Nikia’s experiences modeling led her to start it
- [18:50] What gives Nikia Phoenix confidence? Why she’s inspired by her family
- [21:50] What is reiki? Exploring energy healing
- [23:26] How Nikia rocks a multi-hyphenate creative career
- [26:50] Nikia’s One Tip to Rock It
Links from this episode:
- Nikia’s website https://nikiaphoenix.com/
- Nikia’s Instagram @nikiaphoenix or https://www.instagram.com/nikiaphoenix/?hl=en
- Nikia’s meditations https://nikiaphoenix.com/meditate
- Black Girl Beautiful https://www.blackgirlbeautiful.com/
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She Rocked It is a media and mentorship platform where creative, courageous women rock it together. We are eager to learn from, listen to, and lift one another up — driven by the belief that women’s voices are essential. On our podcast and Instagram Live interview series, She Rocked It host/founder and creative entrepreneur Karen Gross gets trailblazing women leaders, creatives, and entrepreneurs to reveal how they rock it – and their insights may surprise you. Their behind-the-scenes stories, best-kept secrets to success, and actionable tips are sure to inspire the rockstar in all of us!
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Nikia Phoenix Transcript
INTRODUCTION: Hey Rockstar, thanks for tuning into the She Rocked It podcast. I’m your host, Karen Gross. And I’m so excited to introduce this episode with Nikia Phoenix. Nikia is known for celebrating self-love, and she models that herself. If you follow her on Instagram or subscribe to her emails, you know that the energy she is putting out there is amazing. She guides meditations, she shares a journal, she’s known for reiki work, she’s also a model— she’s created an amazing initiative called Black Girl Beautiful— she’s one of those inspiring multi-hyphenate creatives. So, you’re gonna learn a little more about what makes Nikia tick, and also why self-love is so important to her life as a creative. So here we go, let’s hear from Nikia Phoenix.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Yes, hi Nikia! It’s so great to see your beautiful self. Welcome to She Rocked It.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Thank you for having me. I’m really, really grateful to be here.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Thank you. I literally could not smile more right now. I’m just like, so happy to be with you right now. I have truly been looking forward to this for a while and the timing could not be more beautiful to have you here with us as we kick off Women’s History Month. So thank you for joining us. So where are you beaming in from today?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
I’m beaming in from Atlanta, Georgia.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Oh, ATL. Awesome, amazing. And why don’t I know about you… I’ve been a fan of yours for quite some time, But would you start by telling folks a little more about you and what you do and all the good things that make you you?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yes. Hi everyone. Welcome. I’m so grateful to be here. My name is Nikia Phoenix. I am a meditation teacher, Reiki Master, specializing in crystal Reiki and self-love. And I definitely do my best to help people rediscover their true selves through meditation, Reiki and self-love. mindfulness practices.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
And you exemplify that you know, I’ve been following your, your Instagram, among other ways you communicate and like, your self-care practices and rituals are so grounding for me— when I see your stories, see your meditations, your tea in the morning and the ritual around that. Tell us about like, How How did that become such an important part of your life?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
I realized that… I’ve I’ve been a morning person for a long time. I love mornings, I love waking up with gratitude. And I definitely started diving deeper into that from battling depression and anxiety and realizing that I needed something grounding to start my day. And when you have a very special morning ritual, you realize that no matter what happens throughout your day, you have that foundation that you can always come back to to remind you that you are okay that you are safe that you are love that you are enough.
KAREN GROSS/ SHE ROCKED IT:
I’m reflecting on women and self-care, Nikia. And maybe it’s just me—I’d highly doubt it—but why is it that is women, the first thing to go is our self-care? It feels like especially in times like these when it feels like things are so hard. And we’re all going through something. I personally had a very emotional day. And it was also a really beautiful day here in Pennsylvania. And all I wanted was to go and take a walk. But I didn’t. Because I was taking care of others and I don’t I don’t you know, have you know any…I’m not upset about that, but I’m also trying to figure out and maybe you can provide some guidance to all of us. How can we honor ourselves and our self-care in the midst of demands on us as women— whether it’s from your children, or your clients, or your work or your family or many other things that exist in our lives and we’re juggling this…how do you find time to care for yourself and and have your routines in the midst of things that always will be pulling it all of us?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Oh my goodness, because these things do pull, right?
KAREN GROSS/ SHE ROCKED IT:
Not a gentle pull, most of the time.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
No, no, it’s not a gentle pull. However, we have to remember we can’t mother, everyone. We’re not supposed to. The person we’re supposed to mother first and foremost is self. We have to take care of self. Because if we don’t take care of ourselves, how can we extend a helping hand love to anyone else? You know, all that we’ve been taught about— love is not to be selfish, that we should be so giving, giving, giving. And yes we should be giving we need to give to ourselves. So, I challenge you next time that you’re that you want to take a walk, take the walk. You need that. Your spirit needs that, your soul needs, that your body probably needs that. Those are messages that your body was sending to yourself saying, “hey, we need a break. Hey, we need nature. We need to stretch, we need something”—and we have to honor that. We have to honor ourselves first and foremost because otherwise we can’t show up. Can’t show up, like, I have definitely been exhausted trying to show up for everyone else. And I forget to show up for yourself. So, take a moment before you do anything, close your eyes. Breathe. Listen to yourself, what do you really need in that moment? And honor that.
KAREN GROSS/SHE ROCKED IT:
KAREN GROSS/SHE ROCKED IT:
Thank you for that. And I’m curious about your amazing journey. Because here at She Rocked It we love hearing from creative and courageous women like you, and you had such an inspiring, creative journey, in addition to the creative wellness work, that is such a beautiful strong forte of yours. You also have created something incredible in Black Girl Beautiful, which is an amazing thing. And hello, there’s a mural in Atlanta.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yes, yes, yes.
KAREN GROSS/SHE ROCKED IT:
Tell us about all…And I love that you haven’t been like, “I do one thing and one thing only,” like you’re open to these opportunities and to creating opportunities for yourself. So, tell us a little bit of that it’s wonderful, multifaceted, creative life that you’ve created for yourself.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
You know, honestly, when I was not listening to myself, when I was like, “oh, I need to just do one thing.” And like listening to everyone else saying just do one thing focus on one thing. I was depressed. The parts of me that needed to express herself were like, “Why can’t we speak? Why can’t we dance? Why can’t we do all of these things that we are yearning to do?” So, I stopped. And I was like, “Okay, I’m going to listen, and I’m going to obey,” right? So, I realized, yes, I am a storyteller. I love working with my hands. And even like, being in this digital space, sometimes I have to remind myself, get off the laptop, go do something with with your hands, go take a walk in nature, do something.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
And that’s probably a little like counterintuitive in a way. Because as someone who you may consider yourself like “an influencer,” or someone who has a very strong presence online, which is awesome, like helping people through Instagram and through digital platforms like— for you also having to take a step away from that, I’m sure it’s like a real balance that you have to have strike in your life.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Balance. I mean, I have a quiz on my website that’s, that’s called “Do you need a digital detox?” And I still have to, I created that to remind myself—get off your phone. Get off your laptop. Are you like relying too much on this thing? Yeah. And are you not being present in your everyday life? Because you’re on your device? And I think that we also, our capacity as human beings is amazing. However, we’re not supposed to be attached to devices, and like just communicating virtually all the time.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Yeah, it’s true. It’s like kind of a blessing and a curse at the same time, because I get to like, have a daily dose of you via Instagram or by these other platforms. But at the same time, I also don’t want to be depleting you as someone who loves the content that you put out there. So, I respect that you yourself are kind of striking that balance between the good energy you’re able to put in the world, and also taking time for you, and I know you are a nature person you love being outdoors. And so thank you for sharing that. And I know you actually, before I forget, I wanted to also say that you have just put out some amazing meditations for Women’s History Month. Do you want to tell us a little bit about those meditations?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yes, yes. Okay. So, on my website, there’s this meditation challenge. And I started doing the challenge last year, and I’m continuing it this year, I’m going to I’m adding some new meditations. And I really feel like because, you know, women, we are such amazing, amazing beings. I mean, we are so multifaceted. We are so powerful. We’re like, ah, just so amazing. We also forget that we are soft, that we need nurturing, as much as we nurture everyone else, we need, we need this nurturing. So, the meditation challenge is to remind us of our divinity, to remind us to slow down to remind us to be soft, and to tap into that creative energy. I’ve been having—your creative energy comes from your sacral chakra— and, for women, you know, that’s like, everything feminine, you know, like this is our ability to birth new things into this world. Right?
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
That chakra is like in the, you know, the zone that it’s in the in the zone. We also kind of should be paying more attention to the vibes of that zone. Right? Come on. I’m not gonna say what someone once told me about singing from your chakra, let’s say, but when I’m singing, I’m like—we should be accessing the power up in there, right!?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yes, right. We need to, we need to. When we’re not accessing that power, when you’re creatively blocked, you’re, you’re blocked in your all of your feminine energies. If your hips are sore…so, do some hip opening stretches and hip opening like yoga, like all of that, like, get into it, like, get up and dance and like, move your hips we need as women specifically, we need all of that. And once you start to loosen that up, you’re like, “Oh, snap. I can really do just about anything.”
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B? Whatever is doing it that it, I’m am there. If anyone was looking into windows, they would, yeah.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Beyonce, like whatever.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Thank you for reminding us that that is totally what we should be doing. I love it.
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KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
So, Black Girl Beautiful. Tell us about this beautiful space that you have created. And actually, it’s not just a space, you know, online, it became a mural that I know women and others have gravitated towards to remind themselves of the beauty of Black women. Tell us about how this came together? Because what a beautiful initiative that you have spearheaded.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yeah, thank you. Thank you. So Black Girl Beautiful came about because I realized years ago that black and brown girls need a very special space for us. We need a very special space to love on each other, to celebrate each other. You know, even to like, get together and cry together— we need those spaces because the world doesn’t allow us vulnerability. And I realized that that’s, that is universal. But specifically, because I’m a Black woman I want to feed into as many Black women as possible. So I created Black Girl Beautiful and a few years ago had the opportunity to create this mural in the city of Atlanta. And it’s the “Hey, Brown Girl” mural. And it’s this big, bold, colorful affirmation that says, “hey, Brown Girl, you’re beautiful”. And it features this.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
I just had goosebumps, like all over Wow. It was like—
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Like, let me tell you, it’s when we were painting— And it’s, it’s huge. When we were painting this mural. As soon as the letters started to form saying, “hey, Brown Girl, you’re beautiful.” The people in the neighborhood. Like, I got messages from women saying like, when they saw those words, they teared up. And I’m like, “that’s why I do this.” I want us to be able to see ourselves. Because we don’t often see ourselves. I want us to be like, showered in affirmations and we don’t often have that. So, the “Hey, Brown Girl” mural is my love letter to Black and brown girls everywhere. And it’s yeah, I rode by it the other day, and it just makes me so, so happy to see it. It reminds me like, “Oh, this is this is for me too”.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
that is so powerful. And I know that, um, you have a background as a model. You also are an actress as well. Did some of this come from your experiences, like in the industry and maybe contending with some? Yes, —
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yeah, absolutely. So, I just did a commercial for Google Pixel. And it was a Superbowl commercial. It’s still airing it like makes me so happy. But the premise of the commercial is that oftentimes when it comes to photographs, the darker-skinned people get the short end of the stick. Like the coloring’s not right, stuff is always off. So, when I did the commercial and like saw the finished product, I was like, “Ah, this aligns so much with my message, because we need to see ourselves represented.” I mean, coming up I’ve been modeling for…oh, gracious, at least 15 years professionally. And oftentimes I would go to auditions and realize that I was the only one. Or I’d book a job and realize, Oh, I’m, I’m the token person of color in this commercial or in this ad. And that doesn’t feel good. Because I know growing up, I was able to see— I mean, I came up like, during Tyra and Naomi and like, Veronica—I mean, you know, I had like, some beautiful women to look up to. And then I realized, I noticed that like, it kind of started to go away. So, when I started modeling, and, and I was the only one, the only Black girl, the only person of color it was like, no no no , there’s something really wrong, because I can’t be the one representing everybody. It’s just too much. It’s too much for one person to bear honestly. But I appreciate that throughout my career, I’ve seen the tide change. I’m seeing more representation, I’m seeing more darker complexion, I’m seeing more freckles and people with unique complexion. So, I’m like, “Yes, I’m celebrating it all.” Because we all need to see ourselves reflected, in media and magazines and fashion and beauty and our surroundings.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
I am so with you. And I love that you not only kind of observed this happening in your, in your career at that time, but like you did something about it, you created Black Girl Beautiful, you raised your voice, to encourage self-love to encourage more representation. So, I just want to say kudos to you. Because I think that’s something that at She Rocked It we really try to champion is women raising their voices for things that they believe in, because we women have to be the change, right? And like, you did that and look at the ripple effects. And you’re a part of that, like you put the vibe out, you create a signature, you put the mural up, you know, so it’s not an accident. I think that the tide turned, right?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
When I when we did the mural, and like saw, like the response, more murals around the city of Atlanta, which is so Black, the fact that more murals dedicated to Black women started popping up. I was like, “Yes, this was one of my goals. This is what I wanted.” We need more, more more.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
That’s amazing. But it takes that brave voice to be the first to kind of pipe up, and it’s scary. You know, I’m sure you know, you’re starting being a model and you’re doing this and that sometimes it’s like intimidating to be like, raise your voice for what you believe in. So, what has given you that confidence? I’m curious. Yeah, like what what gives you the courage and the confidence if maybe you could share with a woman who’s got something like in her whatever her throat chakra, I guess –maybe she wants to make a change in her job in her, you know, industry, like— what gave you that confidence to say, “I’m not just gonna watch this, I’m going to do something.”
NIKIA PHOENIX:
My ancestors, my mother, my grandmother, my sister, my cousins, all these women that came before me and surround me. Like, when I didn’t know how to speak up for myself. I just kept thinking, like, “who will speak up for me?” My grandmother would speak up for me and in her gentlest voice, she would say something, she would speak up for me. My mother would speak up for me. So, I had to channel those women to be able to speak up for myself. And then also, my stepdad is a civil rights leader. So hello, how could I? I grew up being an activist, how could I not? How could I not speak up for myself?
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Wow, goosebumps, this whole conversation by the way. Um, It’s not just quote unquote famous women necessarily, it’s women around you around us that we look to and so funny. I’ve asked a lot of women in, you know, the past year —”who has been your mentor,” “who has helped you raise your voice?” And so often women will say, “my mother,” or “my grandmother,” it’s not this woman far off. It’s the closest one. So, it is so beautiful that that —what you said that I think when we talk about women’s history month, it’s not just about ancestors who may be very distant to us, but actually, our direct connections within family and our lineage. So,
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Absolutely. And my grandmother, my mom’s mother, she’s still alive. She’s 101
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Can we have her on the show next?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Her mind is like ebbing and flowing. But the one thing that you, she will always, no matter what the one thing she will always do is if you say, “Granny, I need you to pray for me” the light turns on and she’s like “I got it”.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Wow, there it is.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Literally, that is my history. That is the legacy that I’m living through right now, the legacy that I’m honoring, it’s my grandmother.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
That actually, it feels like such a beautiful kind of like transition into your life as a healer, and as a wellness, woman, and meditation… I feel like you give, for lack of a better term, spirituality to all of us in accessing that, that sacred place through meditation. And through, I also know you do Reiki, and I’m not super familiar with with Reiki— I know it has to do kind of with…well, tell us about it. Because I feel like you are providing us with that kind of grace and that kind of healing in your own way.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
I realized that with any kind of energy healing, you, you are your own guru, you are your own healer. I’m just the conduit, and here to remind you of the power that you already have inside. That’s literally it. That’s literally it. So, like in, in Christianity, they talk about laying hands. Right? That’s essentially what Reiki is, like just channeling that energy, so that you can, and placing it somewhere near hovering on your body, or even you know, virtually to remind you to tap into this, the spaces within yourself that need love. And reminding you of the power that you already have within yourself to heal yourself.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
That is so beautifully said. You just kind of brought it all together. For me that is so powerful. I’m just like kind of thinking to myself, so you in the kind of ecosystem of your life. You do this amazing meditation, work and guiding which you can do via by Nikia’s, like website, the Instagram, you’re on some apps, as I recall, you’re also doing the wonderful Reiki healing. In addition, Black Girl Beautiful. You’re acting. You’re— What am I missing from your life? Because I want to honor these things that I want to hear from you. Because I’m also a multi-hyphenate creative myself, like you was like, “No, I’m not just gonna go down this one path.” I love to be a writer and I love to be a singer. And I love to help people with communications. It’s my passion. So yes, we do these things. So, like, tell me if I’ve forgotten anything, number one. And number two, tell us about kind of what gave you the sort of permission within yourself to honor your muses.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Okay, let’s see. Is there anything else? No, no, I mean, I think so many little like— as a kid, as a little girl. I was in dance class since I was three. So, like I learned a long time ago that I need to move my body and like allow that side of myself to express itself. And then after that, I remember I had a wonderful dance teacher that I got, she really, really inspired me. And then after that I joined, I was in my high school band. I don’t play an instrument anymore. But I played the oboe. But one of the things one of the things that I did was I was the drum major at my marching band. And that allowed me to see how so many different parts can come together to create a whole. And I think that being being able to see all those different parts and to be able to conduct all of the music helped me then years later become a TV news producer because I was used to juggling multiple things and seeing the bigger picture.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Yes, totally.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
And then leaving television helped me start my blog, and helped me continue to be the storyteller and do what I’m doing now. It’s just such a natural progression for me, the expression and multifaceted it just all, it’s all me it all makes sense. And I could not see myself without doing it all.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
I love that I would not have expected that it would come from you being a drum major. But that totally makes sense. And it’s true. And I feel like now as you know, in this kind of content creation economy that we’re in or this culture I’m often, people like, you at the hub of that, are doing multiple streams of communication and streams of connection with your audience. So, that you have a producing background in TV news, which I forgot, that’s amazing…And I know you have your degree is in broadcast journalism.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Broadcast Journalism, yes.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Incredible. So, you have parlayed your experience in the journalism world to being your own channel. Really? Right.
NIKIA PHOENIX:
Yes, oh, my goodness. Now that you put it that way? Yes.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
I’m like, tuned in, I couldn’t wait to tune in today to the Nikia channel, I was like counting the minutes. Yeah. I love it. Thank you for going out and creating your own channel. And yeah, it’s the world’s a better place for it. So, thank you for your time tonight, too. And as you know, we always end these conversations, which I don’t want it to end. I’ll be respectful of your time. With if you can leave us here at the She Rocked It community with One Tip to Rock It the way that you have rocked it in so many ways. What is One Tip to Rock It that you’d want to leave with us?
NIKIA PHOENIX:
One Tip to Rock It. Oh just one. Allow your heart to giggle. Allow your heart to laugh. Allow your heart to dance. Just allow your heart, period.
KAREN GROSS / SHE ROCKED IT:
Period. Mic drop. I love that was a meditation I closed my eyes and I felt my heart. Thank you for joining us.
OUTRO: Thanks so much for tuning into the She Rocked It podcast. I’m your host, Karen Gross. This episode has been produced by Tori Marchiony with audio engineering by Teng Chen. The She Rocked It theme song is by Karen Gross and Tim Motzer. Visit our Instagram page @sherockedit to join the conversation and visit our website sherockedit.com To learn about how you can join our community, support our work and attend our live events. Also, you can apply on our website for our Rock-It Launcher group mentorship program. See you there!
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